Blog Seven: Reframing Anger & Frustration

I spent all my life being angry and frustrated, and honestly, sometimes I still do. For me, most of the time when I am angry or frustrated is because a person is NOT being the way I want them to be. I am making a huge effort to forgive people for not being the way I want them to be. So, when I am angry or frustrated at a person, there is nobody to blame but me…right?? So, after a discussion with DK about anger and frustration we came to the conclusion that being frustrated and/or angry at a person needs to be reframed. We instead need to think, what lesson is supposed to be learned from this state of unhappiness and unfulfillment?

My state of total unhappiness when my back went out is a great example. Instead of overacting and saying, “why did this happen to me?” I could have saved myself some heartache by thinking “what lesson do I need to learn?” In retrospect, I see the lesson. Long ago I hurt my knee and never took care of it. Whenever I started to workout, it would start to hurt and I just endured the pain. The next pain would appear in my groin. I ignored that as well and figured pain was just part of the intense training I was putting my body through. When I went to my Chiropractor, Dr. Reyes, pointed out that it started in my knee, went to the groin and settled in my back. If I had waited longer there could have been disc damage. So instead of going on a hazardous binge when my back went out, finding the lesson that needed to be learned would have been much more productive. I learned that my ailments could be cured. Now after 2 months of seeing Dr. Reyes, my knee, groin and back are stronger, I can lift heavier and I feel better than ever. I also know I am asking my body to perform at a really high level, a high level for any age, not just 60 and now I have Dr. Reyes keep my body fine-tuned. So, as my initial reaction was anger and frustration, I reframed the situation to learn a lesson. Because my back went out I really saved myself from disc damage and also found a really good doctor that gives me peace of mind. So in essence, my back going out was a really good thing.

I had mentioned in a previous blog how DK and my training being uprooted rocked my world and I needed to make that “a really good thing” as well. If I apply the previous example to this situation then DK and my training at another facility has to be good. So instead of being angry and frustrated and asking, “why” I am instead going to learn a lesson. Is this a lesson in patience or resilience or just embracing the unknown? Is it the new people that I will meet or perhaps sticking to my goals through adversity? Whatever it is, I am better for this drastic change. I don’t know where this new change will lead, but I will keep you posted.

So, what lessons will you learn from reframing anger and frustration to “why am I unfulfilled and unhappy?”